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findtim

Top Contributor
saw a pub advert today:

cheap bourbon shots and darts competition !!!!

ummm, that should be fun @ semi final time.

story:

i ran a pub in london and it was TOUGH, much tougher then me but i had 2 BIG irish barman.

first day i was there a guy asked me for the pool cues and i could only find 1, so i asked the barman wheres the other pool cues and his reply was " ooohhh no , we only ever give out 1, that way someone has an advantage over the other when the fight starts and we only have to get hit with 1 not 2 when we try to stop it"

next day someone comes and asks me for the darts, i can't find them, so i ask the barman where are the darts? he says " ha ha ha ha, oooohhhh no, we don't have darts anymore ! "

tim
 

Data Glasses

Top Contributor
saw a pub advert today:

cheap bourbon shots and darts competition !!!!

ummm, that should be fun @ semi final time.

story:

i ran a pub in london and it was TOUGH, much tougher then me but i had 2 BIG irish barman.

first day i was there a guy asked me for the pool cues and i could only find 1, so i asked the barman wheres the other pool cues and his reply was " ooohhh no , we only ever give out 1, that way someone has an advantage over the other when the fight starts and we only have to get hit with 1 not 2 when we try to stop it"

next day someone comes and asks me for the darts, i can't find them, so i ask the barman where are the darts? he says " ha ha ha ha, oooohhhh no, we don't have darts anymore ! "

tim

quoits anyone ?
 

findtim

Top Contributor
My spelling no worse than yours freddy
~
Well Adam and Eve tried it .........what could go wrong ?

i've read the book/bible but what makes me laugh is " there was adam and eve, the CREATION....... and they had 2 sons " hmmmmmmmmmm, so what happens next ?

NOTE: i'm catholic so i'm allowed to tell these stories so don't slag me off ;)

tim
 

petermeadit

Top Contributor
Scammers on the phone called me up. Said they were from the Victorian government and wanted to know how many lights in the house so they could replace them with LED bulbs.

I forget exactly how the conversation went but I said "which government department are you from?" and he got angry and said "No not a department! I am from the Victorian government! Now tell me how many lights in your house!?!"

Ha ha, scammers make me laugh :)
 

findtim

Top Contributor
Old school phone pranks... A thing of the the past :)
my dad was a realestate agent in the 70's, HONEST TO GOD, some guy rang our house number one day and said " hi, i am mister hamburger " and i took the total s**T out of him ( i was 12 ) i said " so is that with cheese ? " he said is your dad home" i said " no, he is delivering pizza's " and it went on and on............ i was on a roll !!!!
turns out obviously he was a client of my dad and he was thus not happy after that !!!! ouch.
tim
 

Data Glasses

Top Contributor
Went to the shop and took my own white plastic shopping bag (i'm such a greeny) grabbed a few rolls and then went to the checkout, the girl put the bag in a new a bag and gave me a receipt after i requested no receipt ...... these are trying times, but as we all know ......i'm very trying
 

findtim

Top Contributor
Went to the shop and took my own white plastic shopping bag (i'm such a greeny) grabbed a few rolls and then went to the checkout, the girl put the bag in a new a bag and gave me a receipt after i requested no receipt ...... these are trying times, but as we all know ......i'm very trying
whenever i go into the city i go to hungry jacks swanson st, i never eat junk food but this is my 1 guilt trip i do, all i order is a burger, no fries, no coke . i ALWAYS ask for " no bag" and the idiots always put it into a bag, i then take the burger out of the bag straight away and hand it back and say " PLEASE USE THIS BAG AGAIN" , i mean the burger was in it for 5 seconds, they ALWAYS throw the bag away................... it does my head in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i tell you if you ever see on the news "madman gets shot by swat team in hungry jacks melbourne" then its probably me LOL
tim
 

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